Autism - Going Beyond the Comfort Zone

What does it take to get a young person with Autism out of bed?

What does it take to get them up and out into a world that rarely sees or understands them? What kind of mental toll does this place on them? What kind of burdens do they have to take on? What does it mean for them to find triumph, and how do they overcome challenges and defeats?

“I close my eyes. I beseech fate that I should not fail and fall, and I thus step forward with the hope that my foot finds firm ground underfoot, and not an all-gobbling abyss that then takes me.”

This was my employee’s response when I asked him. I know that so many barriers have put themselves in front of him, only to fall as he strides onward and over them – he definitely had better words to share about these questions than I ever could. “It is oftentimes true that my foot finds the abyss and I fall. And it is at this idea, that I will know where not to put my foot next time, that this metaphor concludes”.

The emotional and psychological struggles that are encountered by people on the Spectrum during their childhood, and into adulthood, frequently makes it difficult for them to discover their potential. Any parent of a child with Autism aspires for success, but there is so much energy, exertion, and exhaustion required from them.

Their sensitivities and anxieties can cause them to catatrophise a single defeat. Depression can co-occur with a diagnosis of Autism, and ASD itself is inherently a development disorder that affects social communication. A person with Autism cannot just be expected to go out into society – the answer for how is not as intuitive to them and they need guidance and support. Early intervention can help them have more autonomy when they are older. But those who go under the radar inevitably suffer.

But what about those who do go beyond their comfort zone? What inspires them? And what keeps them going when they struggle and meet defeat?

To start off, it is necessary to organize your defeats into two categories. There are the defeats that are a consequence of needing to develop your set of skills – and this is easy and within your control. Train yourself and become better and try once again.

But then there are the defeats that are a consequence of the external world not being good enough for you. All forms of impediments will be waiting for you, and some will not be overcome because of systemic problems that impact so many other people, too.

It is important to start off with the realization that you, an Autistic person, just like everyone else, are going to struggle to get to where you want to go. And it is all right to be sad, and angry and bitter. Feeling lost is natural. It is important to just keep going. Life will not relent on the hardships that it offers, but each one will make you better at battling against every new challenge.

This probably does not make it appear appealing to go out into the world and gently put yourself further and further beyond your comfort zone. But I have the opinion that those who are going to go far in life will inevitably be the ones who have the motivation to battle against the odds. I also believe that people on the Autism Spectrum have that potential more than anyone else.

Inspire yourself with the assurance that there is something you have to offer to others that they will cherish. When you fail among your peers, persist until you are better so that your growth can be seen. People will always know where you came from and will respect and admire your persistence if they can see it, and if you show it.

The question should never be, “what is your disability?”

It should be, “what are you able to do more than anyone else?”

Go out and seize your potential.

©Nelle Frances 2020